


My Weird Hot Neighbour

by kickassfu



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Modern AU, and thirsty, finishes with geralt's pov, jaskier is a youtuber, jaskier's pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:26:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23019271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickassfu/pseuds/kickassfu
Summary: “Excuse me?” he definitely needs to sit down now, but then Geralt just looks at him confused and- “How do you know about that? Oh my God, have you seen my videos? My videos about…”“About me?” Geralt is smiling, actually smiling (he can do that?) and it looks so smug, Jaskier just wants to wipe it off his face, with a kiss preferably.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 89
Kudos: 1376
Collections: The Best Fics I've Read





	My Weird Hot Neighbour

**Author's Note:**

> got this prompt on tumblr (pls send me prompts if u'd like): geraskier prompt time???? modern au !!!! could be office workers, or pop star, or social media or anything but modernnnn
> 
> took me a little to figure out where to go, but then things fell into place :D i hope y'all like it! 
> 
> also i was scared it was too self-indulgent and no one but me would like it, so my very good friend said: GOOD! THIS IS YOUR CITY AND IF THEY DON'T LIKE IT THEN THE EXIT IS ON THE LEFT YOU MAY QUOTE ME ON THAT IN YOUR AUTHOR'S NOTE IF YOU WANT LOL

Jaskier has a hot neighbour.

He’d go as far as saying, a _really_ hot neighbour.

A very hot, really _weird_ , neighbour, actually.

Getting home at the oddest times, like 5am, and leaving at 7pm, as if he’s afraid of the sun or something. _Like a vampire!_ Even weirder though, it’s the blood (or at least something Jaskier thinks is blood), that he sometimes sees on his neighbour’s face and hands. Again, very much like a vampire.

Jaskier says as much to his youtube audience, when he deigns them with a new vlog instead of the regular song video; these last few months, since Geralt had become his next-door neighbour, he hasn’t talked about much else, and his little youtube family loves it for the most part, then there are the worriers and the haters, which is fine. He’s used to it.

The most common comments are the thirsty ones, people after his own heart really, and then the second most common ones are _‘is your neighbour a serial killer😱😱😱😱’_ ones, they’re hilarious and still totally fair. Jaskier has only had a few conversations with the man so far, he’s gruff but in truth actually very kind. The type of person to help you with groceries (even if he’s very unresponsive) or to open the door for you when you’re absolutely sloshed or the kind of person to lend you salt in the middle of the night; basically Geralt is a good man.

And Jaskier is quite sure he isn’t a serial killer.

Still, the whole brooding thing, with a body that won’t quit and a heart of gold? That shit is Jaskier’s weakness. He’s crushing for him, _hard_. The youtube community knows this. His friends know this. Everyone seems to know this, except for Geralt.

Thinking about Geralt finding his youtube channel is exhilarating and fucking terrifying; he’s lucky the man’s technology advancements are stuck on the 2000’s with the 3310 Nokia (who has that phone in 2020???? and no, not the ugly 2017 upgrade, he isn’t sure what’s worse). It’s fun to wonder if Geralt even has a computer, and if so, what kind of old monstrosity it might be.

Somehow, even that is endearing to Jaskier.

All of his songs end up being about Geralt, his beautiful long hair, and wonderful bright eyes and perfectly rounded arse. Love ballads, joke songs, everything.

Geralt’s his muse, and that’s just fine and dandy with him.

Especially when his numbers rise, and he gets more followers, _more money too_.More exposure and love, he loved it all. And yeah, basically, Geralt is a fucking Godsend. If he could, Jaskier would totally pray at his altar every goddamn day; worship him top to bottom.

He’s doing a livestream, because of course he is, after all he got past 2 million followers, and he needs to celebrate it with his lovely youtube family.

Jaskier did not cry while thanking them.

He did not.

_He cried._

But it’s fine, they all know how easy he is to bring to tears. The comments are all wonderful and full of love, telling him not to cry, which only makes his heart beat even harder and fuller. It’s fucking good to feel appreciated, loved.

There’s a knock on his front door, and everything stops, it’s not like he’s expecting anyone, “Rude people, God. I won’t be bothered though, we’re celebrating after all.” he tells everyone watching.

The person is insistent though, and Jaskier rolls his eyes, “I’m sorry my loves. I need to see who that is. Be back in a second.”

Jaskier forgets things sometimes when live streaming; like forgetting to turn on the camera, or forgetting to put in the soft instrumental music as he speaks, or forgetting to mute his microphone. And usually, they’d warn him, which he’d fix immediately, but now...now he wasn’t there to read their messages.

Messages telling him they can hear everything.

Muttering under his breath, annoyed at being interrupted, Jaskier opens the door to find his incredibly hot ( _Geralt_ ) neighbour standing in front of him.

“Oh.” Jaskier says, because it’s an unexpected visit, and waits for Geralt to speak. He doesn’t, so Jaskier tries again, “Hi Geralt. To what pleasure do I owe this lovely visit?”

Geralt’s eyes are deep, and beautiful, and Jaskier loves them, but when Geralt just stares at him so hard, unflinching, it’s unnerving (and maybe a little hot). He stares and stares and stares, as if Jaskier is a puzzle he needs to figure out, but still doesn’t speak.

“Good lord Geralt, do I have something on my face? What’s wrong?”

“Have you been crying? Are you ok?” he sounds worried, and Jaskier needs a moment, because he’s definitely swooning.

“Just happy tears, I reached a new milestone.” not that Geralt probably even knows what a milestone is.

“ _Hm_. Right. You reached 2 million on your youtube channel.”

“Excuse me?” he definitely needs to sit down now, but then Geralt just looks at him confused and- “How do you know about that? Oh my God, have you seen my videos? My videos about…”

“About me?” Geralt is smiling, actually smiling ( _he can do that?_ ) and it looks so smug, Jaskier just wants to wipe it off his face, with a kiss preferably.

“You knew? All this time you knew and didn’t say anything? Why?”

“It’s pretty funny, all your batshit crazy conspiracy theories about me. I’m not a vampire by the way, nor a serial killer.”

“That’s exactly what a vampire and/or serial killer would say.”

“Hm, true.”

Jaskier is so focused on what’s happening, that he forgets that his livestream is still going, and definitely still has no idea they’re listening to everything. Going absolutely haywire, about Geralt’s deep, soothing, very hot voice. And about how they’re definitely flirting, that Geralt is also into Jaskier just as much.

He wants to ask him to come in, he wants to ask him on a date, he wants to fucking kiss him, he wants- “Wait, why are you here?”

“Salt.” Geralt simply says, and does not elaborate.

“Right, of course.” Jaskier can’t stop looking at Geralt as he walks backwards to the kitchen; almost falling over his own feet, he can hear an amused snort and glares at Geralt whose face looks completely serious. He gets the salt with no other complications and hands it over.

“Thanks.” Geralt takes it, and turns around. Once again, Jaskier just stares after him, a million thoughts and fantasies running through his very dirty mind; unexpectedly Geralt looks back at him before going inside his own house, “I’m making dinner, when you’re finished come over.”

“Uh-huh.” no words actually come out of Jaskier’s dry mouth, as Geralt nods and enters his apartment. He stays there for a few seconds, or maybe a few minutes, until his brains kickstarts, “The livestream!”

It’s a pandemonium.

There’s congratulations for his date (is that what it is? can he hope for it?), and people asking for pictures of Geralt (now they know his name, but he’s definitely not sharing pictures), and the messages are going by so fast that he can barely read them. It’s the first time so many people are watching one of his livestreams, it’s a little daunting but still kind of amazing.

He thought he was gonna lose viewers when he left for a bit, not gain more.

I guess giving people a spectacle works.

As much as he wants to run to Geralt’s apartment (and his arms), this is his job, a job that he loves and so he takes advantage of the momentum given to him by the surprise appearance of his muse.

“Yes, yes. I know. I’ll tell you all about the dinner in another vlog. But now I have to go, there’s a very handsome man waiting to feed me. I fucking adore you all, my loves.” he says, hoping Geralt never watches the archived version of the livestream.

It’s definitely the best day of his life.

* * *

Geralt will never not be amused by Jaskier. The way Jaskier looks at him when he thinks he isn’t watching. Or the way he talks about him to his viewers, and all the songs he makes about him (his favorites are the crack ones like the “why my hot neighbour might be a vampire” song). Most of all, he loves that Jaskier calls him his muse, and that there’s nothing he talks about more than him. It feels good being wanted like that, openly, from the bottom of Jaskier’s heart.

So yes, seeing Jaskier cry in his livestream, even if the tears were of joy, messed with him a little bit. Which in turn made him get up, and go over there without thinking of the consequences; he almost turned back around and left, but then Jaskier was right there, in front of him, eyes full of devotion.

Geralt had been stumped.

He definitely wasn’t expecting to confess to knowing about Jaskier’s channel, nor about asking him for a dinner date at his place.

But it happened, and now he’s cooking for two while watching the rest of Jaskier’s livestream.

_Fuck_.

He likes him so much.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm also kickassfu on tumblr~~


End file.
